There are times in your life that you open yourself up for criticism, weather it is ask for or not and you have to decide what to do with that criticism. This is an open blog to the public, but I don't care if everyone knows what we have been going through. My husbands parents have custody of his brother's children. They are ages 14, 16 and 18 and the grandparents have expressed that they are having a hard time raising them right now. They are getting older and the younger two are teens, couple that with some difficult background and these kids are hard to raise. They would be hard to raise for anyone, but for older people (I am sorry, but that is what they are) it is truly a struggle.
We have offered to let the younger one and the middle one (it would be her choice) come and live with us. We only live five miles down the road, so they could see the Grandparents on a regular basis, but could live with us who are more age appropriate for raising children this age. Steven mentioned it to them last week and he said that they were receptive to the idea and wanted to pray about it. This week we went out to dinner to talk about it more and it was very clear that they didn't think we could handle the job, in fact they are not impressed with the way we raise our own children. They think that we allow them too many privileges before they are ready ( we let our 13 year old have a cell phone so that when she is not with us we can call her) and that our kids are not respectful ( because they came to their house to go swimming at the river and wore bathing suits and didn't have shorts on and the boys could see the outline of their rear ends). These comments really hurt me because child rearing is the one area that I feel like we are doing the right thing in. Everyone at church and at school loves our children and want them in their classes. When we had this discussion, I was not prepared for criticism for myself and it hurt my feelings.
In the end, we think it is best that they stay with the grandparents. We are going to try to help them out when we can (if they will let us), but the grandparents need to finish raising these kids. They are not ready to let us or anyone else take them. All we wanted was for the Grandparents to have an easier time and for the kids to live in a happy household. If those things can happen and they can stay where they are then that is for the best. I am usually a giver and give with the attitude that it is from the Lord and from my heart. That is why it hurts for them to think that I would open my home to these kids for any other reason than because I love them and want what is best for them. Again I had to listen to critics that I wasn't ready to hear from.
Just pray for the kids involved. I don't know if the relationship between the grandparents and us can be completely mended (I am a forgiving person, it may just take a while) and that will make it difficult for us to spent time with the kids involved. They love our kids and love coming over here so I will make the effort. I don't want these kids to miss out on there cousins.
I know this is a money saving blog, but I also want it as a documentation of what we are doing on a weekly and daily basis. I want to go back and read my posts and see where I was compared to where I am. I think that is a great way to grow in the Lord and yourself.
I other news, we are going to go get our Christmas tree today and Ashley is in a parade today with her dance. I am hoping that we can make some memories an have a great day!